2019 ends tonight at midnight.
When 2019 began, I had plans to live fulltime in a tiny camper, hike as often as I could, and write my third novel. Well, the first few months, I lived my plan accordingly. I even struggled with the first sentence of my novel as I wont to do with every story I write. 🙂
But, the Universe threw me a loop and cast me onto a different path. My PhD advisor, now Director for the Environmental Studies Program, asked me to teach a class in the fall, then two classes in the spring 2020, then assume substantial administrative duties to assist her in building and improving the program. In my new role, I served as the Undergraduate Director for the Environmental Studies Program, advised students on their major and career paths, mentored student research, ordered classes, and organized three big events. I ended up with a job I never applied for. Strange, the way things work out.
This fall I lived only part-time in the tiny camper. I didn’t have much time to hike since I had to prepare for 3 spring courses (2 at UC, 1 at Wright State), and the only thing I wrote were tons of emails. In the spring, I won’t even be able to visit the camper for the weekend. I no longer am living the “Wanderful Life.” At least for now. I hope to return in the summer. 🙂
The biggest lesson I learned in 2019 is acceptance.
I accept whatever happens in my future and trust it’s for the best. When I first had to send the cats to my son’s (end of 2017) because of Shane’s severe allergies, I mourned their absence for a year. I regretted the decision. But now, given how I can partially dislocate my pelvis while sleeping or sitting, it’s for the best I don’t have the cats. All the stooping and scooping, and lifting and lugging! I’m honestly not fit enough to care for the cats. It seems as if the Universe foresaw the rapid decline of my joint stability and spared me greater injuries–because we all know I’d hurt myself, especially since Kiki weighs 20 pounds and Fluff weighs 18 pounds. That doubly exceeds my weight lifting limit. In an alternate life, someone has asked me how I subluxated my rib, shoulder, neck, and pelvis, and I replied, “I cuddled the cat.”
Strange, how things work out.
I accept the fact I have limitations. I probably spent a year feeling sorry for myself. Until I hit 50, I was an active person, still dancing at the clubs, still kayaking, still cycling, still doing yoga twice a week. At 51, I can do none of those things, at least not without injury. Heck, I can’t even sit, stand, or sleep without injury. I lost my ability to do, and, with it, I lost my enjoyment, my stress releases, my passions, my Zen–basically my ability to cope with a painful life. Pain is nothing new to me. I’ve lived with daily chronic pain since I was 16. But I had ways to block the pain by channeling my energies into my activities. Until I lost those ways. Then all I knew was pain, physical and emotional, a combination so strong you wonder how anything will ever be better or brighter again.
I accept I physically will never get better. I can only maintain or worsen. Thank you for any well wishes, but it’s not part of my genetic lottery. 🙂 What I do have control over is my attitude, and I gained a winning one in 2019! 🙂 It’s because I have acceptance. It is what it is, and will be what it will be. I can either make the best of a bad situation or wallow in self-pity for the rest of my days. I choose to be happy, or maybe that is the genetic lottery I won: The Happy Gene. 🙂 I had my moment in self-pity, but I’m over it. Now I laugh at myself. It is a silly body doing silly things. I amuse me. 🙂
I accept the simple pleasures in life. I love my family and friends, and even if I can’t do some activities, I can still spend time with those I love. I can still play board games, attend a movie, tour a museum, share meals and news, take a walk, and simply enjoy their company. And Shane…according to him, anything we do together is quality time. Some of our favorite dates are strolling through an antique store. Heck, the other day we spent an hour looking at products and seeing what the Healthy Living app we have says about them. 🙂 I really don’t need much to be happy. Life is an adventure even if you stay home because your body is incapable of doing. Excitement is a life of laughter and love. 🙂 ❤
I accept my life, my body, my mind, my spirit for what it has been, is, and will be. I’m thankful I’ve had this chance, this miracle, to breathe and be. Even I do sometimes need an inhaler to breathe. 😛
2019 has been a wanderful year full of wandering and wondering!!! Wondering now how 2020 will unfold. 😉
I have my plans: teach Resource Conservation, World Population and World Hunger, and World Regional Geography (through the lens of climate change) in the spring, teach Endangered Earth in the summer, and teach Advanced Topics Atmosphere & Climate and People & the Environment in the fall.
Best of all I’ll get Maui’d to Shane on Halloween!!! ❤ ❤ ❤
We’ll wed either in Haleakala National Park or the lavender farm in Kula, Maui. 🙂 I want to hike Pele’s Paint Pot. 🙂 But we haven’t quite planned it out yet. 🙂
2020 is perfect vision, and I know he’s the one I want to spend the rest of my years and life with, no matter how it pans out or if it follows plans. 🙂 ❤
As for everything else, I’m leaving it to luck, chance, and strange circumstance. 🙂
Happy New Year, All!! May 2020 bring light, laughter, and love your way!
2019 ends tonight at midnight.